I am struggling - more perhaps than I have before. I have fought in different ways; fought for my life, even. But I've never faced pain like this. Never had so many days, day in, day out, where my pain levels sit above a 7 or 8 out of 10. Never had so many times where my pain levels hit the 10/10, where it takes every ounce of strength and determination not to black out with pain.
My pain meds aren't touching it. My spinal cord stimulator helps a little, but has problems. It seems that I damaged it when I fractured my vertebrae last year, because it causes intense back pain. After talking to my specialist the other week I've decided to go ahead with another operation to revise the leads, and also to have another ketamine infusion. Part of me is scared about both - between the SCS and my Intrathecal Pump, this will be my 7th surgery on the same small area of my back. Ketamine is a rocky road too.
My news got worse when I saw an orthopaedic spinal surgeon who not only told me that my injuries are inoperable, but that they are probably as healed as they are going to be - and therefore that I'm likely facing chronic spinal pain for life as well as the CRPS.
As a result, I can sit for all of five or ten minutes now before the pain threatens to swamp me. Medical appointments aside, I've left the house a grand total of three times this year. This isn't my life...
My pain meds aren't touching it. My spinal cord stimulator helps a little, but has problems. It seems that I damaged it when I fractured my vertebrae last year, because it causes intense back pain. After talking to my specialist the other week I've decided to go ahead with another operation to revise the leads, and also to have another ketamine infusion. Part of me is scared about both - between the SCS and my Intrathecal Pump, this will be my 7th surgery on the same small area of my back. Ketamine is a rocky road too.
My news got worse when I saw an orthopaedic spinal surgeon who not only told me that my injuries are inoperable, but that they are probably as healed as they are going to be - and therefore that I'm likely facing chronic spinal pain for life as well as the CRPS.
As a result, I can sit for all of five or ten minutes now before the pain threatens to swamp me. Medical appointments aside, I've left the house a grand total of three times this year. This isn't my life...